I find it very disheartening to read the numerous misinformed posts and comments on what it means to be a paedophile. When paedophiles talk about feelings of love, non-paedophiles rubbish such claims and instead talk of mental illness or simply that they’re lying. When paedophiles talk openly about attraction, non-paedophiles talk about paedophiles as sexual predators. I’m constantly astounded by how non-paedophiles including supposed experts and researchers are totally unable to grasp how paedophiles feelings are in fact the simplest in the world to understand, they’re the exact same feelings as they themselves feel but perhaps towards adult females or males.

Why is this so hard for people to understand? A person will feel love for their husband or wife or their boyfriend or girlfriend, they don’t disect it or try to calculate its worth or reality, they simply feel it. It’s beautiful, its a feeling of deep admiration, care, warmth, love and with that comes desire. Not desire in the sense of desiring to rape or hurt another but desire to be near to, desire to protect, to care for, to love. These are positive feelings celebrated through the ages in love stories and religions, they’re the feelings that make life worth living, that add colour and beauty to humanity.

I consider paedophilia the simplest subject in the world to understand, its the subject of how almost everyone feels but usually toward partners of a higher age. People try to turn the subject into something bigger, perhaps a medical subject, a legal subject, a philosophical subject but the reality its the simplest of human subjects.

As a parent, husband and paedophile I experience daily the differences and commonalities that exist between how I feel towards my wife, my children and young girls.

My kids mean the world to me but I have no attraction to them at all, I only have parental feelings. I love them to bits, would give my life for them in an instant but the idea of a romantic or sexual interest is totally alien to me. Being a paedophile has zero impact on my feelings towards my children any more than being a heterosexual male makes my feelings towards my sisters or mother confused and risky.

When it comes to other young girls my feelings will be determined by physical attraction, personality, familiarity and much more. Most young girls I encounter I have no emotional or physical interest in beyond caring friendship. I should say I’m not exclusively attracted to children although I’m rarely attracted to adult females but it also allows me to contrast my feelings towards adults as well. So with adults its much the same, I meet many adult females and have no physical or emotional interest in beyond caring friendship. Very very rarely though I’ve met an adult female who’s beauty has had an impact on me or who’s personality and nature have impacted me to the point that there’s real physical attraction or an emotional attraction that goes beyond mere friendship. When I met my wife it was one of those very very rare occasions where there was physical and emotional attraction that developed into love.

With young girls it’s the same except I’m more likely to feel those feelings that go beyond caring friendship. With most young girls there’s no such feelings but sometimes I will meet a girl who’s beauty creates a physical attraction or more likely there are girls who’s personality just makes my heart flutter which over time develops into feelings of love. With love can come physical attraction but that’s almost just a by product, the most profound feelings are feelings of love. With love comes care, wanting to protect, wanting to be around and wanting to see her smile, laugh and be happy. I might show off, I might treat her to something I know she likes such as a trip to some restaurant she likes or the cinema because I just want to see her happy.

I know I’m a paedophile because with adult females I’m VERY unlikely to have feelings beyond friendship but with a young girl it’s much more likely and common for me but still remains for only a minority of girls. Despite what people might think I don’t walk around the streets with an erection lusting after every little girl I encounter, that’s a ridiculous idea. Does a non-paedophile do that for every adult woman then encounter in the street? I do feel sexual attraction, sure I do, but only to those with rare beauty or I’ve fallen in love with, I guess that’s the chemistry of it, there’s physical attraction or there isn’t. But even when there’s physical attraction it’s never a danger any more than I might sometimes get angry towards the tax man or some sales person but I’m never at risk or attacking them.

As a parent I love my children and would give my life for them in an instant, that’s what true parental love means. I would do the same for my wife, that’s what romantic love means. As a paedophile, when I fall in love with a little girl I would do the same for them because that’s still what romantic love means. It breaks my heart when I read stories describing paedophiles as monsters who want to hurt children, who are driven by sexual lust and self interest because I know that’s far from the truth, quite the opposite of what being a paedophile means.

As a heterosexual or homosexual person, do you lust after men or women in a dangerous way? Do you delight in hurting those you’re attracted to? Do you find yourself showing off as your heart flutters or do you want to rape? Why then is it so difficult to grasp that being a paedophile is exactly the same but towards younger partners. I’ve never met a paedophile I consider to be dangerous, every paedophile I’ve met has expressed the same feelings of love and deep hurt from a world that so badly misunderstands and judges them.