- 10 Rules of Anal Sex by Jack Morin
- Jack Morin, PhD, a San Francisco sex therapist and researcher, is the author of Anal Pleasure and Health.
- Anal Eroticism is surrounded by a powerful taboo. Yet millions of men and women - straight, gay and bisexual - are
- experimenting with anal sex. The anus, richly endowed with nerve endings and interconnected with the main pelvic
- muscles, is the closest erogenous neighbor of the genitals and contracts rhythmically during orgasm. Thirty-five years
- ago, Kinsey stated that the anal region had erotic significance for about half of the population. In a survey of 100,000
- Playboy readers, 47 percent of the men and 61 percent of the women admitted to having tried anal intercourse.
- Yet the anal taboo inhibits most people from thinking, talking and learning about the sexual use of the anus. Listed here
- are the ten things most men and women still do not know about anal sex.
- 1. Anal intercourse is the least practiced form of anal sex.
- There are many ways to enjoy the anus erotically. The most common techniques include touching the anal opening while
- masturbating or stimulating a partner's anus during intercourse or oral sex.
- Some people enjoy the sensation of a finger - their own or a lover's - insinuated into their anal opening and gently
- rotated. Others may prefer the insertion of a dildo or vibrator beyond the anal opening and short anal canal into the
- larger rectum. Many men, including heterosexuals, prefer this form of penetration.
- Oral-anal lovemaking is popularly known as rimming. The very idea disgusts some people. Others enjoy performing it
- or allowing themselves to be probed in this special way.
- 2. Anal stimulation, including intercourse, is not painful if done properly.
- The belief that anal stimulation, especially intercourse, has to hurt is a persistent and dangerous myth. Just as pain
- anywhere in the body indicates that something is wrong, so is the same true of the anal area. With its high concentration
- of nerve endings, the anus can produce extreme agony when it is mistreated. Yet it can be a source of great pleasure.
- When a finger, object or penis is introduced into the anus, the anal muscles go into spasm, as if fighting off an invasion.
- Pain will result if the partners do not wait for these muscles to relax. Under sufficient stress they will eventually collapse
- and the pain subside, unless further damage is done. But, any 'pleasure' afforded from this kind of activity derives mostly
- from the absence of discomfort.
- Maximum anal pleasure requires the elimination of all pain or physical trauma from the anal experience. Self-protection
- on the part of the passive partner involves being ready to say "no" until he or she is ready to proceed. Readiness is a
- combination of physical relaxation, usually helped along by plenty of leisurely anal touching, and desire.
- Occasionally the anal muscles are relaxes, but the passive partner is still not in the mood. Stimulation should mount only
- in proportion to the degree of receptivity.
- 3. Anal sex can be enjoyed even if it has been consistently uncomfortable in the past.
- Sufficient desire alone does not necessarily guarantee pleasurable anal sex. Nor is an uncomfortable previous
- experience always the reason for a lack of interest in or desire for anal sex.
- Chronic anal tension is the most common cause of anal discomfort during sex. Hemorrhoids and constipation are usually
- a sign of this condition. Tension can be relieved by touching the anus and becoming more familiar with it. An ideal time
- to explore the anal opening is while taking a shower or bath. Deep breathing also affects the anal muscles. Tensing the
- anus and the letting go in another way of learning to relax it. Anyone who enjoys masturbation might want to experiment
- with some form of anal stimulation, though he or she should stop if any discomfort occurs.
- For many people the turning point in anal sex is when they allow a partner to massage the anus with the understanding
- that intercourse will not be attempted. Then the recipient of anal caresses can concentrate solely on the pleasure that this
- erogenous zone is capable of generating.
- 4. Two muscle rings called sphincters surround the anal opening. Each functions independently.
- If you insert a finger about one half-inch into your anus and press your fingertip against the side, you can clearly feel the
- two sphincter muscles. There is less than a quarter-inch between them. The external sphincter is controlled by the
- central nervous system - just like the muscles of the hand, for example. You can readily tense and relax this sphincter
- whenever you want.
- The internal sphincter is quite different. This muscle is controlled by the involuntary or autonomic part of the nervous
- system, which governs such functions as heartbeat and stress response.
- The internal sphincter reflects and responds to fear and anxiety during anal sex. It will cause the anus to tense up
- automatically even if the passive partner is trying to relax. Thus, precautions about safety and comfort are essential here.
- Even if a person does feel comfortable during anal sex, he or she may still need to learn voluntary control over his or her
- internal sphincter in order to relax it at will. Doing so requires regularly inserting a finger, perhaps in the shower each
- day, and feeling the internal sphincter. The muscle changes spontaneously and in response to behavior. In this instance,
- simply paying attention is more important than trying to relax. Anyone can gradually learn to control the internal
- sphincter at will.
- 5. Anal stimulation provides many kinds of pleasure
- The highest concentration of nerve endings is around the anal opening itself. A finger can focus on them especially
- effectively. When an object or penis is inserted beyond the anal opening into the rectum, other pleasures are involved.
- The outer portion of the rectum, like the vagina, has several nerve endings. The inner portion responds mostly to
- pressure.
- Some people enjoy the feelings of pressure and fullness once they understand that these sensations do not presage an
- impending bowel movement. Rectal pressure is especially important to enthusiasts of "fisting," a form of anal sex in
- which several fingers or even the entire hand and forearm are inserted into the rectum and sometimes into the lower
- colon.
- In men, the prostate - which is just beyond the rectal wall, a few inches in, towards the front of the body - can be a
- source of pleasure when massaged by a finger, an object, or a penis. Also, the lower end of the penis, or "bulb," is near
- the anal opening opening. It is stimulated indirectly by most types of anal sex.
- Anal pleasure can be psychological as well as physical. The anal taboo adds to the thrill of the forbidden. The most
- common anti-anal message (it's dirty!) sometimes returns as a source of raunchy, sleazy excitement. Rimming enthusiasts
- may enjoy the feeling that they are being disgustingly - and delightfully - perverse. Other people regard the anus as a
- secret, special place. Sharing it with a partner is an act of openness and giving.
- 6. Anal stimulation can lead to orgasm
- A minority of men and women can respond orgasmically to anal sex without direct genital stimulation. Women probably
- do so through pelvic muscle contractions - and a small minority even though the sheer excitement of being anally
- penetrated. When men experience an orgasm from anal stimulation, they tend to focus on the prostate. No doubt they
- are also responding to indirect stimulation of the penile bulb.
- Orgasms from anal stimulation are most likely to occur when the participants become thoroughly absorbed in their
- sensations and fantasies. An almost certain way to prevent such an orgasm is to be become determined to have one.
- Seeking an anal orgasm will create new pressures and disrupt the pleasure.
- It must be remembered that most people require direct genital stimulation in order to climax. On the other hand, a few
- people have orgasms only with anal stimulation.
- 7. Diet contributes to the enjoyment of anal sex
- Regular bowel movements are the major function of the anus and rectum. There must be sufficient fiber in a person's
- diet to make his or her feces soft, bulky and well formed. This allows a bowel movement to be produced without force
- or effort. Forced evacuations irritate anal tissues, causing discomfort and adding to muscular tensions. Fresh fruits,
- vegetables, whole grains or unprocessed bran are important sources of fiber.
- 8. Different rules of hygiene apply to the vagina and rectum
- Since intercourse can be vaginal or rectal, many people assume the the same rules apply for the penetration of the
- vagina and rectum. Although both are lined with soft tissue and are capable of expanding, they are radically dissimilar.
- The rectum is not straight. After the short anal canal which connects the anal opening to the rectum, the rectum tilts
- toward the front of the body. A few inches in, it curves back - sometimes as much as 90 degrees. Then, after a few
- more inches, it swoops toward the front of the body once again. A person can learn about the shape of his or her
- rectum by gently inserting a soft object, trying different angles and body positions and concentrating on how it feels.
- Make sure the object has a flared base so that if you loose your grip, it won't slip into the rectum and become
- irretrievable.
- The rectum does not produce lubrication like the vagina but only a small amount of mucus. Therefore, rectal penetration
- always requires a lubricant. Chemical additives should be avoided. Water-based lubricants are latex-compatible.
- The main function of the rectum is to act as a passageway for feces. But feces are not normally stored in the rectum
- except just prior to a bowel movement. Yet small amounts may remain in the rectum, especially if the feces are not well
- formed. Anal douching before lovemaking will help some people especially concerned with cleanliness to relax. For
- others the idea of dirtiness heightens the joy of the forbidden; for them, douching is anti-erotic.
- 9. Anal intercourse is not necessarily an act of dominance and submission.
- The top-bottom imagery associated with anal intercourse is widespread. No doubt the belief that anal sex has to hurt
- contributes to this notion. And in fact some people are intensely excited by top-bottom fantasies about anal sex. The
- thought that they are submitting to such a degrading act is a terrific thrill. However, actual, not fantasized, anal pain can
- lead to trouble.
- For others, the enjoyment of anal sex is inhibited by top-bottom imagery. The idea of surrendering control, and perhaps
- submitting to humiliation, causes immediate, protective tensing of the anal muscles. These individuals are more likely to
- relax and enjoy themselves if they can learn to regard anal sex as pleasurable rather than as an expression of power.
- 10. Anal sex can be perfectly safe, even beneficial.
- The taboo against anal eroticism is perpetuated by the almost universal belief among physicians that anal sex is inevitably
- dangerous. No physical injury from anal stimulation results if both partners refuse to tolerate pain, never use force and
- avoid the use of drugs.
- All the other risks center on sexually transmitted diseases. Each of the common STDs - gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes -
- can affect the anus. Intestinal parasites, bacteria or tiny bugs are usually passed along when fecal matter finds its way
- into someone's mouth or vagina, most likely through rimming.
- AIDS has complicated the matter. The HIV virus can pass from the semen or blood of an infected person to the
- bloodstream of a partner through a tiny break in the rectal tissue during anal intercourse.
- To avoid this risk, anal intercourse and rimming should not be practiced casually. Those who do enjoy anal intercourse
- should always use a condom. Rimming should always be accomplished by a latex barrier. Of course, in a monogamous
- relationship with two healthy people, the risk of disease transmitted anally is reduced.
- Thousands of men and women with chronic anal medical problems have restored their anal health by challenging their
- negative attitudes. This approach is indispensable for full erotic enjoyment of the anus.
Stikked
