1. If my boyfriend had tried to use pick-up tricks on me when we first met, I would have never given him a chance.
2.  
3. Instead, the way he connected with me was real. It was genuine. It was 100% uniquely HIM. And it worked.
4.  
5. Like you, he’s an introverted guy. Perhaps like you, he’s in tech. In fact, there are lots of things about him that you might relate to:
6.  
7. - He loves bacon.
8. - He loves video games. In fact, he’s playing one right now next to me, as I write this.
9. - He takes great care of his body. Not into sports (at all!), but actually enjoys strength-training.
10. - He’s a software engineer.
11. - He used to be painfully shy, and pretty much stayed at home all the time. Now he’s found the balance that works best for him, mostly home time, with some friends time sprinkled in. And of course, we spend a lot of time together too ;)
12.  
13. To be clear, the frat-guy “rah rah rah!” approach doesn’t work with interesting high-quality women. Neither does classic PUA.
14.  
15. I’ll tell you why. We can read you guys like a book. We can tell how you feel in your own body, how secure you are with yourself. How comfortable you are with your sexuality and attraction. Etc etc etc….
16.  
17. Don’t be scared. You WANT us to see this. When you are a great guy, what we see is GOLD, so it works out well for you. And oftentimes, what we’re attracted to is NOT what you think.
18.  
19. There are as many different women out there as there are men, and we all like different things. There IS a great fit for you, and the more you develop as a high-quality match for an extraordinary woman, the more attracted that kind of woman will be when she meets you.
20.  
21. To show you what I mean, I’m going to share with you few things I love about my man. I am NOT telling you to compare yourself to him or be like him. That would defeat the whole point, which is that he is awesome in his unique way, and you can be awesome in yours.
22.  
23. While you read, imagine what the right woman will say about YOU once you learn how to attract her and keep her. Check it out:
24.  
25. My man is completely honest.
26.  
27. Painfully so! I remember on one of our first dates, he was telling me his bad habits, just openly, so as not to hide anything from shame.
28.  
29. It was amazing to me, watching him be so transparent, and he’s continued to be that transparent all the way through. This helps me trust him in a way that I didn’t know I could trust someone.
30.  
31. He has a sense of wonder towards life.
32.  
33. On our first date, he was telling me about his travels, and he kept on saying, “And it was amazing! This was amazing. That was amazing, all amazing!” Every five minutes he said something was amazing.
34.  
35. He must’ve said it 20 times in an hour, and it really showed me, you know what? This guy knows how to have fun. It was this raw, childlike awe that I was extremely attracted to. And we’ve just had so much fun all the way through – sharing this sense of wonder with each other.
36.  
37. He is kind and caring.
38.  
39. We’d just been dating a few weeks, and I caught a cold. He stayed with me, day and night, took exquisite care of me. Even though I was keeping him up all night coughing and sneezing, he was right there. Never was he annoyed, not one tiny bit. I’d never been so attended to in my life.
40.  
41. I was at his house, feeling a little better, and managed to pull myself out of bed for a party downstairs with his friends. All night, his closest friends were telling me, “Sarah, he is the most wonderful man. He was there for me during x time in my life, and y time. He really is the most generous person I know, a remarkable human being.”
42.  
43. My man is HOT.
44.  
45. Not just physically, but the WAY he touches me. It’s absolutely electric. Never in my life have I been f***ed like this. He is so steady, so strong, so incredibly hot.
46.  
47. There’s all these little things he does, little habits, little ways he connects with me that he may not even know, but they drive me wild. I am a VERY satisfied woman. :)
48.  
49. He’s damn smart.
50.  
51. We can geek out over Discovery Channel’s “How The Universe Works”. I’m always asking him to press pause and explain things to me. He knows so much about all the things that fascinate me, so sometimes we’ll just spend hours philosophizing and figuring things out.
52.  
53. One of our favorite brunch topics is whether there’s an alternate universe that’s watching us inside a glass or something, totally outside of space and time.
54.  
55. Also, he’s very affectionate.
56.  
57. He’s always holding me, touching me. We’re never far out of reach. He loves holding me in his arms as we go to bed and as soon as we wake up. I fit perfectly inside the nook of his arm.
58.  
59. It feels like we’re puzzle pieces that just naturally lock into place. He’s so comfortable in his own skin that he can be super comfortable with me so close by.
60.  
61. And finally – this man is devoted on his personal growth path.
62.  
63. He went from basically being out of shape, socially awkward, and terrified to talk to girls, to the incredible god of a man he is today. He is an introvert and is completely comfortable with that.
64.  
65. At the same time, he loves pushing his boundaries so he can grow. It’s fun for him and keeps things fresh. The other day, we went to our first improv class together. When the leader asked him why he was there, he said, “I’ve always been afraid of public speaking, so I want to tackle that head-on. I don’t need to do it for my job or anything, I just want to for the hell of it.”
66.  
67. Across the board, he has made MASSIVE changes in his life and will continue to, because it’s just part of who he is. It’s just how he’s choosing to live his life. I love that!
68.  
69. Now – if there’s one thing you should take away from the above, it is this: Just as my man is a perfect match for me, YOU are a perfect match for another adoring woman of your very own.
70.  
71. Notice that most of what I told you about him is NOT what typical PUA guys would ever tell you to do, and yet – they light me up and turn me on. So, what do you make of that?
72.  
73. If you’re smart (which of course, you are), you will start considering right now that perhaps your own quirky, individualized way of being would actually be a really fun ride for the right woman. You just have to understand a few things…
74.  
75. Of course, there are basic qualities that are attractive across the board:
76. - Kindness
77. - Integrity
78. - Playfulness
79. - Confidence / Ambition
80. - Sexual Chemistry
81.  
82. But how YOU express each of these as your own man (not some PUA clone) is what’s going to get the right woman’s attention.
83.  
84. Let’s take playfulness, for example. There are 7 BILLION variations on that. If you try to mimic some joker’s playfulness through surface tactics, it’s going to come off as weird and creepy.
85.  
86. But if you understand the ESSENCE of playfulness as a foundational way of being, and you find your own groove with it, then you become irresistible.
87.  
88. This is obviously more work than just copying a random teacher’s surface tactics. You have to understand the foundations underneath the attractiveness factors for yourself, which is much harder to do.
89.  
90. And much more fun.
91. And much more fulfilling.
92. And much more effective.
93. It’s incomparable, really.
94.  
95. Seriously, why do you think traditional PUA is such a hit or miss? Why hasn’t it worked for you?
96.  
97. Because one teacher’s particular surface expression of playfulness or confidence may luckily be an 80% match with one student, but unfortunately only 10% with another. (If he’s an extravert and you’re an introvert, it’s going to be more like 0%-15% for you every time.)
98.  
99. So, when the 80% student emulates the teacher, it comes off as fairly authentic. It works pretty well for him, and he feels like he just won the lottery, because he did… whereas when the 10% student tries, it’s a trainwreck, and he goes home and cries in the corner because he thinks it’s all his fault.
100.  
101. It’s not his fault! The whole design of “say these 3 magic words” or “do this one little trick” is all based on shallow surface tactics that work for one particular teacher because it’s a natural expression of him just being himself.
102.  
103. But when YOU go to do it, it’s all wrong. Of course it is!
104.  
105. It’s because you haven’t yet learned the deeper foundations of what actually makes a man truly attractive – so you can make it work for you.